Salleesblog _ Loosing weight while recovering from a broken ankle

Hungry

2009-09-20T11:17:00.000-07:00

A new development is that I have been hungrier than normal. Hunger has not been much of an issue because Jenny Craig 'volumizes' the food. In other words the food contains a lot of low calorie, high fiber foods such as fruits, and vegetables, whole grain breads and starches. Usually it is enough. But lately not. So Im evaluating what is going on. Im thinking maybe Im not drinking enough water. So I have increased that. Im also taking advantage of the free foods. Right now Im drinking a glass of V-8. For lunch I plan to fill up on lots of veggies in a big salad.

I have been eating a lot of no sugar Jello and lite Cool Whip lately. I know that wont satisfy real hunger. But it is kind of fun to eat. Feels a little decadent.

As I write it is 11:21 on Sunday AM.

Another possible reason for this change is that I am under stress because my adult son is very sick and is home with us. I am taking care of him.

Latest Ankle info

2009-09-03T07:27:00.000-07:00

For those of you who are following this fascinating blog, here is the latest info about my ankle. Went to orthopedist yesterday. he said the pain was caused by walking on an uneven surface ( dog beach) I have to back off on some of the things I have been doing, including my workout at the gym. :-(

Im using this as an opportunity to get creative with my work outs. It would be so easy to fall into a rut and do the same workout day after day. I stopped doing the elliptical because Im not sure what is hurting my ankle and I was pushing that pretty hard.

Instead I go upstairs and do a lot more weights and stretching. My doc told me not to walk up and down the stairs, so Im taking the elevator. Yesterday I decided to use the reclining bike to warm up. It didnt bother my ankle one bit. So Im going to do that for about 20 minutes today. The other big addition to my workout is SWIMMING! Im loving that. It feels so good to cool down after a sweaty workout. I feel like I have been using new muscles when I get out of the pool.

Ankle talking back

2009-08-31T14:43:00.000-07:00

I've been on a roll. Jenny Craig going well. Working out regulary. Pushing my endurance by adding more time on machines. Doing intervals on the eliptical. Ankle tolerated it well.

Last Friday we went to dog beach. It is quite a long walk through sand to get to the water. I had been told that it is good therapy to walk in sand. It gives the ankle a real workout. Apparantly my ankle didnt get the memo. It has been hurting since that day. I am walking slower and with a slight limp. Today I gave in to reason and skipped the cardio part of my workout. There is a very long stairway from the ground floor of the gym to the weight area. I used the elevator instead of walking. I was able to get quite a good workout in spite of the ankle. Then I went swimming. I first sat on the edge of the jacuzzi, and let the water work on my ankle. Then I went in the swimming pool and was able to swim without trouble. When I finished my swim I went back and soaked my foot in the jacuzzi again. Then one more dip in the pool. So I had given myself some heat and cold therapy. The ankle felt better after that.

So, again with the balancing act. Balance needs of my ankle with need to continue exercise and weight loss. I see each event as a challenge. Im up for it!

Fun, Family, and all sorts of things to eat

2009-08-29T15:00:00.000-07:00

Im sure we have all been there. We are in the process of loosing weight when a very special event comes up. There will be food. That is a given. How do I handle it?

First and foremost is my attitude. How do I see myself in relation to this event. The event is really about the family being together. The food is there, but it shouldnt be the center of my attention. I will instead enjoy everyone's company and take lots of pictures. I cant stuff my face when there is a camera in my hand. Thus, I took 300 pictures. You gotta love digital photography!

I decided not to drink alcohol for two reasons, 1) CALORIES 2) Loosens inhibitions.

Turns out, I didnt miss it. It helped me enjoy every minute of the day not to imbibe.

Food- Dont sit beside the chips and dip. The further away I am, the easier it is to ignore it.

Move around. The kids were in the pool, so I jumped in too and swam around. It felt wonderful!

When the main course comes after hours of fun, look for lower fat foods. My sister made all the food and it had some easy choices for me. Chicken cacciatore. In a nice tomato based sauce, caesar salad, bread and butter ( skipped that) The piece de la resistance was my sister's fabulous blackberry pie. Did I skip it? No I did not. Did I take a huge piece? No I did not. I took a sliver Did I have a small scoop of ice cream with it? Yes I did. How do I feel about those decisions? I feel just fine. I made deliberate decisions about everything I ate. It wasnt as hard as you might think.

The next day my daughter made some guacamole from some avocados we brought from S. California. Did I sit right by the dip and chips? No I did not. Did I taste the dip with a couple of chips? Yes I did. Then I moved away and sat down with another branch of the family.

How did I do? At my weigh in, the Tuesday after the weekend event, I had LOST a pound!

Needless to say I am extremely happy about that. I learned that I could go to an event and make my way through a minefield of food, eat some of the very special things that were there and skip a lot of the grazing that usually happens at events like this.

Eating during a crises

2009-08-29T13:44:00.000-07:00

On Friday I spent the day in the hospital with my son. It was important to me to talk to his doctors to understand the extent of his illness. Since doctors work on their own schedule, the only way to catch them is to sit in the patient's room until one comes in to see the patient. Suffice it to say, my son has a serious illness. But he was awake and lucid. He was in a regular room, not the ICU.

It was a grueling day for me with not much food available. I had brought a cup of yogurt with me, which didnt exactly satisfy after 6 hours. But I had no choice but to stay at my post if I was going to talk to the doctor. BTW, Im an RN so I felt it extremely important to talk medical and to listen to his medical explanations of the situation.

When I came home from the hospital late in the afternoon, I was exhausted and drained. Finally the tears came.

The reason we went up to northern California was to go to our family gathering in Sacramento. It was Friday evening and I was in tears. My husband wanted me to fly up to Sacramento on Saturday morning. The whole family wanted me to come. They were depressed that I wasnt going to be there.

As I sat in my room and tried to watch TV. I thought about how miserable I would be on Saturday knowing they would all be up there and I was here with nothing really to do. My son was being cared for and didnt really need me. I decided to pull myself together and get a ticket and go. Once I got past the inertia, I began to feel better.

The decision was made as a result of the decision I made when I broke my ankle then started Jenny Craig. Im going to take care of me. I deserve the best. I deserve to have all the happiness and joy that comes my way. There were going to be 30 family members at the gathering, and I was going to be one of them.

San Francisco

2009-08-29T07:34:00.000-07:00

We arrived in SF on Wednesday night. Katie and Bruce(my daughter and son in law) took us out to dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant. The food was quite healthy and delicious. We shared it from platters. I had chicken parmesan, skinless chicken cooked in a delicious marinara sauce, antipasto salad and one small piece of delicious pizza. I was careful to watch my portion sizes. I had one sip of red wine.

The next day I went to the gym before going downtown to meet Katie for lunch. For two hours I wandered the streets of SF and took pictures of people and places that wouldnt ordinarily be taken by a tourist.

At noon I met Katie for lunch. While we were eating at a lovely French bistro near Katie's office, I recieved a phone call from my son Michael. He told me he was in the hospital with severe liver damage. Frank and I immediately drove back to Escondido, less that 24 hours after we had arrived in SF.

On the way home I didnt have much JC food that I could eat in the car. So I just lived with being hungry. My focus was on Mike anyway, so the thoughts of food were less distracting.

Ups and Downs

2009-08-29T07:21:00.000-07:00

I havent posted for a while. So let's catch up.My weight loss program is on track, in spite of some challenges in my personal life. This is where the rubber meets the road. It is easy(for me) to 'work my program' as they say when my life is going smoothly. But the real test is to do it when unexpected events occur. Those events can be positive or negative. Either way they present eating challenges.

Last Wednesday Frank and I drove to N. Cal for a family gathering. I carefully planned my food, bringing the Jenny Craig meals that dont need refrigeration. On the morning of my departure, I ate my JC breakfast and tucked my yogurt and fruit into a little cooler. As we drove along I began to think about what food I wanted to eat while driving. But as I thought about it, I realized that I couldnt be hungry after just eating breakfast. So it must be boredom that was driving my food thoughts. With that in mind, I sat back and enjoyed the ride until lunch time. We stopped at a rest stop north of LA and I ate my JC lunch, Chicken Salad with crackers, and a little cup of applesauce. It was delicious. It held me most of the way up the valley.

What is marraige?

2009-08-16T08:51:00.001-07:00

Marriage is:

Marriage is having someone to tell your dream to when you wake up in the morning Marriage is someone to talk to when on an 8 hour drive up I-5. Marriage is having someone to take care of the house and the animals when you go on a little trip. Marriage is leaving a little note so the other one knows where you are. Marriage is a note to tell the other one that the dogs are fed. Marriage is someone to go out to dinner with.

Marriage is to NOT go out to dinner when one of us is on Jenny Craig.

Marriage is someone to tell your golf stories to.

Marriage is someone to hold you when you cry.

Marriage is someone to laugh with.

Marriage is having someone to pool your money with.

Marriage is knowing there will be someone there when you come home, even if he isnt in the house when you get there.

What I have noticed as my weight goes down

2009-08-15T11:04:00.000-07:00

Clothes looser, down 2 sizes
Feel free and easy as I move through my day.
Can go through the turn style at the Wild Animal Park without turning sideways.
Hips dont touch arms of desk chair in computer room
When I accidently see my reflection in a glass window, I feel good, not bad.
Going up and down stairs gets easier all the time. Ankle still a little stiff but getting more flexible all the time.
Willing to put on a swim suit at the gym. Swimming feels absolutely wonderful. It is my non food treat to myself when I finish my workout.
FRiends stop me to talk and say I look great. They are afraid to say, 'you lost weight' So I tell them Ive lost weight. And they say, "Yes, I noticed'
It is easy to turn over in bed.
In fact EVERYTHING about my life has changed.

How weight loss clears the spirit

2009-08-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

As my body gets smaller, my heart, mind and soul clear like the sun breaking through a foggy day. So much of me was taken up with the onerous job of ignoring my growing body. It took a lot to divert my attention from this body I was trapped in. Last April I turned around and confronted my demons. I looked at myself square in the face and told myself, 'It's time for a change You have been so healthy and strong, even while carrying an extra 50 lbs. Im going to nurture and honor you for the health you have managed to give me in spite of myself. You deserve to be loved and honored throughout this process.'

There is so much more to the process than the actual loss of poundage. There is a lightness of heart mind and spirit, an optimism about the future, and a confidence that was not there before. There is also peace. I am no longer at war with myself.

Suddenly I have the energy to clean my house. I find I want to have things in order and clean. This was something I was also ignoring; the state of my house. It was just cluttered as were my thinking processes . It took a lot to ignore that elephant in the living room. In fact there was an elephant in every room. And the elephant was ME!

Salads

2009-08-09T07:12:00.000-07:00

When you cut back on calories and cut out junk food, it changes how you see all food. Its like cleaning a glass. Everything becomes clear and bright and focused. Take a salad for instance. Before Jenny, I only ate salads when I went out to dinner. I was just too lazy to make a really good salad at home. It takes a lot of time and planning to make a salad, starting at the grocery store. It seemed so much easier to just eat quick, calorie dense food, like granola bars.

On my new eating plan, there is a salad every day at lunch time. At first I would just grab some packaged lettuce, maybe some jicama, red pepper and baby carrots and use the Jenny Craig dressing, (lite ranch or vinegarette). But my salads have evolved. One day I bought a big basil plant from Trader joes. That made me think about other fresh spices that might enhance my salads. I started a herb garden with basil, mint, cilantro and a few other things.

Here is todays salad: Fresh lettuce, red leaf or that live lettuce that come in a plastic carton with the roots still on it. Cherry tomatoes, red pepper, mushrooms. baby carrots, jicama, cucumbers fresh mint, fresh basil, Nonfat dressing; Asian Seseme seed, caesar,

Every bite is a burst of flavor. Because Im not filling up on junk food, I can taste the subtle flavors of the salad.

working out

2009-08-09T07:11:00.000-07:00

Just got home from the gym. Pushed my cardio up another notch. Im managed to keep it up for 30 minutes instead of 25. That includes intervals. Also, stretches and weights. Plus a little something to continue rehab for my ankle. It sure feels good when I stop! Well, actually it feels good when Im doing it. I enjoy the gym. I was going regularly when I was fat. But my workouts were half hearted at best.

Exercise is just as important as cutting down on calories when it comes to loosing weight

Half way there!

2009-08-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my Jenny Craig appointment. I have hit my half way goal... 20 lbs! I have lost a total of 7 inches from bust, waist and hips. Im down two clothing sizes. How do I feel? Great! Am I going to let up on the program? NOPE. Im staying focused, working it.

What exactly does that mean? Follow the menus exactly. Keep up my exercise plan, gym at least 5 times a week. Wild Animal Park, dog beach....

What is BMI anyway?

2009-08-03T07:40:00.000-07:00

Another way to measure progress is with the body mass index or BMI. Body mass index (BMI) is a measure of body fat based on height and weight. It is fun to watch your BMI go down as you weight goes down. I Googled BMI and came up with some cool

charts. My starting BMI, at 190 lbs 5'2" is 35. That puts me in the 'obese' category. In order to get to the 'overweight' category, my BMI needs to get to 29. Im now at about 30.5 because my weight is 167.5. This is just another way to watch my body change and to know that Im getting healthier by the day.

How to care for my famine brain

2009-07-30T10:59:00.001-07:00

If you read my last post, you are familiar with 'famine brain' Im using a term I first encountered in Martha Beck's book, 'The Four Day Win' It is an excellent book, by the way, for anyone who wants to win the diet wars once and for all.

If you are to loose weight permanently you CAN NOT subject yourself to famine brain.

You must find a way to feel full after eating. I found the secret when I started Jenny Craig.

It's called 'Volumetrics' a term coined by Barbara Rolls, Phd. The idea is to create volume at every meal. That means adding foods that have more volume and fewer calories than calorie dense food. This is what the Jenny Craig plan does. Jenny Craig's food is higher in protein and uses some fat but not too much. Both foods are necessary for saitey The Jenny Craig client adds his/her own fresh fruits and vegetable that greatly add to the food volume. I have to say, that Im rarely hungry since I started Jenny Craig. And the times I do think Im hungry, when I analyze it, I realize that it is really 'famine brain' So I compassionately talk to my scared 'hungry' self. I tell her that she is safe, she will be taken care of, and there will always be enough. Then I observe my feelings without acting on them. Eventually the 'hunger' goes away without eating.

With these tools and others, I have lost 22 pounds and have not felt deprived.

I would like to say once again, that I DO NOT WORK FOR JENNY CRAIG. Im simply convinced that her plan is working for me. Each person is unique. What works for me, may not work for you. I believe you need to learn about and shift your attitudes about food and eating if you are to be sucessful in loosing weight and keeping it off.

Thanks for reading, and happy weight loss!

Fear of Hunger

2009-07-30T10:41:00.000-07:00

Anyone who has been a yo yo dieter knows the feeling.. 'Im hungry. I might get hungry, Im always hungry.' Lets look at that feeling more closely. When you are on an extremely calorie restricted diet your mind goes into famine mode. It begins to obsess on food. It worries, it is Afraid ! 'Maybe I will never eat again. Maybe I will starve to death. But I cant eat, Im on a 'diet' Well, I can eat. But only what the diet says I can eat. Let's see which diet am I on? Is it low carb? low fat? diet for my blood type(whatever that is' No matter which diet is the diet du jour, the feeling is the same; Im famished, when can I eat that little morsel of food that will be doled out to me?

Finally, I achieve my goal.Horray! Now I will stick to the diet du jour for the rest of my life and I will never be fat again. Then that starving frightened self speaks up, very quietly at first. Then louder and more plaintively. Please please please, can I have that great big hamburger? I have been sooooo good.. Please! just this once? And so it goes. Down the drain with all my good intentions. At last I can EAT again. Then comes the fear. But, what if the food goes away again? What if there is never enough, ever again? I had better hoard, and eat as much as I can, just in case.

The solution in my next entry

But I go to the gym! Why am I still fat?

2009-07-28T16:07:00.001-07:00

Believe it or not I am a regular at the gym. Ive been going for 10 years. So why did I put on 40 lbs? Its a matter of how much you exercise vs how much you eat. But we ALL know that!

I had countless sessions with trainers during that time. However I was never willing to step on a scale or discuss my weight. I only allowed them to work with me on my workout routine.

I would go to the gym, do my 20 minutes of cardio, and another 20 minutes of weights, maybe a yoga class here or there or a swim. I also walked about 2 miles whenever I went to the Wild Animal Park. But I always carried granola bars with me to ward off even a hint of hunger. So by the time I got home, I had pretty much undone the calorie expenditure of the exercise.

Over the years I actually LIKED going to the gym. That has proved to be the saving grace.

When I was finally ready to look at myself honestly and assess my assets and liabilities, I had a wealth of knowledge about exercise and workout routines. I was able to use that knowledge to set up a routine for myself while I was lying in bed with a broken ankle. It's amazing what can be done with a little creativity.! The experience made me appreciate what permanently disabled people experience every day. Many people are able to rise above their disabilities and become athletes. I took my inspiration from them as I fashioned my routines.

Now, Im happy to say that I have increased the intensity and the amount of time I spend at the gym. I do intervals for 25 minutes on the cardio machines. Im going to work up to 30 minutes. I have read that intervals really increase the effectiveness of the routine. Intervals are 1-2 minutes of intense exercise followed by a less strenuous speed for 2 minutes.

Im incorporating a lot of the exercises I learned during my physical therapy sessions for my broken ankle. I have just started swimming again. I really feel that I got some great exercise when I get home from swimming. I add that to my normal gym routine.

I have lost 20 pounds in 3 1/2 months. My ankle is completely healed and I no longer need physical therapy. I walk without a limp. I often go hours without thinking about my ankle.

I credit my recovery to a great orthopedic surgeon and my desire to recover completely. It is really about the physical therapy.

Down three clothing sizes

2009-07-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

I was going to back off on this blog. I wrote three 'catch up' entries yesterday. But I cant resist sharing this news. In the interest of truth in blogging Im going to admit to the world what clothing size I was when I started Jenny Craig.

Today when I was getting dressed, my size 18 pants were baggy! So I broke out my size 16. They had been hanging in my closet for years, a silent witness to my failure to loose weight. They were shoved to the back. But I knew they were there. I guess there was a part of me that was clinging to hope. Even though I flatly stated to my family, NO MORE DIETS' Deep down inside, I knew I would one day tackle this problem again.
When my size 16's gets baggy I will have to buy pants. Before I kept buying BIGGER pants and feeling just sick about it. But pushing those feelings down.
Now I will be buying smaller. Size 1x and 2x are already at the Goodwill.
I went in and showed my husband and he was as thrilled as I am. After I told him I started to cry. I really really never thought this day would come! My husband has supported me every step of the way, even encouraging me to spend $600 a month when I was doing Jenny Direct.
Now that my broken ankle has healed, I can go to the Jenny store. Im still choked up about this.
And I am only half way there!

Please pass the endorphins!

2009-07-25T09:34:00.001-07:00

We all know what endorphins are. They are the feel good hormones released by the body that make us, (are you ready?) FEEL GOOD. Sounds great, right? All we have to do is figure out how to get the body to do this. Im sure each of us has a favorite way of getting an endorphin fix. One of the easiest is to eat something yummy. A piece of chocolate cake? A quart of butter brickle ice cream? A super duper large bag of french fries. Well, ok , that works for maybe the time it takes to eat all that yummy stuff. But probably a half a second or maybe a minute later if we are real good at denial, the endorphins are replaced with that all familiar endorphin killer: GUILT.

What to do? What to do? Here's a novel idea: Find a different source of endorphins. Something that wont be killed by guilt before we even put down our fork, or spoon or empty bag of fries. Well let's see. Let's make a list. Everyone's list is different, because everyone's truth is unique. There is not one other person on this planet that could create the same endorphin boosting list as someone else. Isnt that wonderful? We all have our own truth.

So here is my non guilt, endorphin creator list. Not the whole list, mind you. Just the list list that pops into my head as I type this.

1) A walk at the San Diego Wild Animal Park.

2) A trip to the gym. The better the workout the better the endorphins and the longer they last.

3) Writing this blog

4)Poking around on the internet.

5) My photography. Some of my photos

6) A good night's sleep

7) Watching the New York City Ballet's version of Romeo and Juliet.

8) Old Hollywood musicals

Your turn> Share your list with us.

Finding Thinner peace

2009-07-25T07:28:00.000-07:00

In this modern world, with so much competing for our attention, books often take back seat to ipods, cell phones, computers, work, and play. But when you are laid up with a broken ankle, time opens up in abundance. It is a gift. Suddenly, there is time to read an reflect

Soon after I started Jenny Craig, my sister called me and suggested another book that might help me make the transformation to achieve, 'Thinner Peace' This is a phrase coined by Martha Beck in her book, "The Four Day Win'

This book is the perfect companion to my brother, Steve's book, Making your mind Magnifcent for people like me who have been caught in a vicious circle of dieting and

binging.

In the book, Martha Beck outlines a plan for transforming how we see ourselves. Step by step she takes us through the process of finding that thin, lithe happy person that resides below the layers of bulk we have acquired over the years.

It turns out, (and those of us who have spent a life time of dieting already know this) that we cant scold and cajole ourselves into thinness. We have two parts of us that constantly undermine our weight loss efforts. One is our dictator. The dictator take over when we decide to 'go on a diet'. He stands over us with clenched fist and monitors every morsel that goes into our mouth and every minute on the treadmill. For a while we are virtuous and follow the dictates of our inner dictator. We feel smug that at last we have summoned up the willpower to take the weight off. We know that this time we will succeed. Because the whole problem is that we were eating, too much fat or too many carbohydrates, or too much salt or the wrong food for our blood type. If we just follow the rules for the diet du jour we will be forever thin. Eventually however, something happens and we let our guard down. We get tired or sick or depressed or stressed and our 'wild child' takes over. We rebelliously scarf down everything in the kitchen. We tell ourselves, we deserve that pint of ice cream because we have been good for so long. And those potato chips will go stale if we dont eat the whole bag today.

Eventually we wake up from the binge, and the guilt sets in. What a hideous cycle to be caught in! I have been caught in it most of my life. Each time I loose weight, I regain MORE than I lost. Thus my weight had inched up to 190 lbs.

What to do, what to do? Joy of joys, there IS an answer. Here is a place to start. Lovingly talk to the dictator AND the wild child. They both are just trying to help. To the dictator: 'You are trying so hard to help me control my weight, and I appreciate it. We need to work together with Wild Child to accomplish our goals.' To the wild child: 'I know you are afraid that you will be hungry and that there is never going to be enough. I have treated you as if your needs dont matter. I have ignored you. Im going to take care of you. You are safe.'

From that vantage point, Im going to sit back and just observe the interplay between the two parts of me that have been at war. The observer in me is the real 'me' This is the me that I can access and enlist in ending the diet wars forever.

This is the beginning of finding thinner peace.

Exercising with a broken ankle

2009-07-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

So, there I sat, in bed, big boot on my left leg up to my knee, 190 lbs. What to do? I made some decisions:

I will take as good care of myself as I have of everyone else all my life.

I will use my background as an RN to devise an exercise program for myself.

Exercise plan:

Strengthen every muscle in my body so that I will be able to move around the house with my assistive devices and be strong enough to begin rehab without having to build up the rest of my body. I talked to my niece, Greta who is a Pilates teacher. She gave me some good ideas to keep my core strong.

It may look like Im just sitting there all day. But the reality is that I have to get up at least to go to the bathroom. And that takes muscle strength. But I also want to move around to other parts of the house and do things for myself. I dont want to be totally dependent on my husband for all my needs.He has a lot to do, to run the house without me. We have three cats and two dogs. Usually we both participate in their care.

First goal:

Be strong enough to move from bed to wheelchair, bed to knee scooter. Scooter to toilet, stand on good leg.

How I achieved this goal:

Using all my muscles, including core,

transfer to wheel chair from bed pivoting on the good leg, holding wheel chair arms. (wheel chair must be locked) The main strength must be in the good leg(right leg) Do this motion several times every time I get up, just to build up muscle strength.

Second goal

Do not allow my body to weaken by lack of exercise while the ankle heals.

While lying flat in bed, I used an elastic band called a theraband, looped over my good foot, stretching it out as I extended the leg. (build strength in my quadraceps( large thigh muscle)

Arms must pull their weight too. Use theraband in two hands, pull away from sides of body.

Use hand weights to strengthen arm muscles.

Leg raises, both legs. (I was allowed to remove the boot in bed) Did not use theraband on affected ankle.

Keep spine flexible. Spinal twists: Lie on back bend knees, roll knees from side to side.

Do range of motion to all joints except broken ankle.

With knee on knee scooter, scooter locked, do knee bends on good leg.

Stand at the kitchen counter and do knee bends.

My biggest secret revealed

2009-07-23T07:32:00.000-07:00

Ok, Now Im going to reveal a secret that I have not told a single soul. I feel it is important to do this to validate my blog.

When I started Jenny Craig on April 12, 2009 I weighed 190 lbs. That is a lot of weight to pack on a 5'2" frame. No wonder my ankle snapped like a twig when I went down.

Here is a picture of me while the paramedics were working on me. It took at least four of them to heft me up off the floor. When I worked in hospitals (I am an RN) and had to move heavy patients, I used to think that these people should have been more thoughtful of people who might have to take care of them. I know it was an irrational thought. The chickens came home to roost on March 27 when I became the patient. As of now, I have lost 21.5 lbs. 168.5 lbs is still a lot to carry on my frame, and still a lot for someone else to lift or move.

But thats ok. Because Im on my way to finding the Sallee that was lost in all that blubber.

Amazing Grace.. once I was lost, but now Im found.

Playing Catch Up with my Blog

2009-07-23T07:01:00.000-07:00

I started this blog 3 1/2 months after my accident and after starting Jenny Craig.

Im going to briefly summarize my journal.

One of the things I have learned, and all dieters know, is that the change that occurs has to be between the ears before there can be lasting results below the neck.

As I sat in bed, contemplating my ankle and my body, I knew I needed to change both of them and the change had to 'stick'. If Im ever to walk normally and stay healthy, I must reduce my weight and at the same time figure out how to get some exercise when I was not allowed to put any weight at all on my ankle. More about that later.

The accident occurred at a seminar I was attending, given by my brother, Steve Campbell. He has spent over 20 years reading all the research that is out there about how the mind works. There is so much information that has come forth in the last 20 years, that the way we see how the mind and brain works has been completely transformed.

Steve has written a book called, Making Your Mind Magnificent. I found myself reading and rereading it. I felt my mind open to the possibility of creating permanent changes in how I see myself and my body and therefore empower me to change what I want to change, forever. I had only to look at the messages I had been giving myself to see that they were holding me in a place of defeat and fatness.

So I transformed negative to positive. eg:

From, 'I am a yo yo dieter. I will never get thin. I give up'

To: I feel light and lithe because I exercise and eat like the slender woman that I am

From: constant fear that I will get hungry. Always carrying food in the car.

To: It is ok to be hungry at times. I am safe, I will always be cared for.

From: I need a snack in the evening or I will be too hungry to sleep.

To: I ate enough food today so I can stop eating at 6pm and I will be fine. If I think Im hungry, perhaps what I really need is water. Or I take a few very deep breaths. I 'surf' the feeling til it passes.

From: I guess I will be this way for the rest of my life. Im too old to loose this weight now.

To: I most certainly can become the weight and size I want to be. Every day is a do over. And Im doing this one over. I am never too old to change. If I make a mistake I will say, 'Next time I will do this..."

From: Relatives and friends expressing concern about my weight

To: They are celebrating my successes with me. I sense the relief in their voices when I tell them how Im doing.

In my next blog, I will talk about another book that changed my thinking about myself and my ability to loose weight and keep it off.

Hefting that extra 40 lbs on only one leg

2009-07-20T09:30:00.000-07:00

The daredevil cites philosopher Martin Heidegger as his inspiration. "Falling has its meaning for so many people," Skarbakka said. "Once you let yourself go, there may be more space in there to be open to other possibilities."

Before I go any further I would like to clarify one thing. I am not a spokesperson for Jenny Craig. I chose Jenny because I used the program successfully about 20 years. More about that later.

On Friday April 3 I flew back to San Diego with the help of my daughter, Katie and her husband, Bruce. It was a carefully orchestrated trip with me in a wheel chair and my boot. We had to go through the security check separately because of the wheel chair and all the hardware in my ankle. The flight home was easy, once we figured out how to elevate my foot on Katie's lap. At this stage of the healing process it was very important to keep my foot elevated. If it was hanging down for any period of time it got swollen and painful. In spite of the severity of the injury, my pain was minimal.

Once I arrived home, I was ensconced in my room with pillows and ice to my ankle. Katie spent the day cleaning and straightening my room. (Im not the best housekeeper in the world.) Now came the fun part. How do I get around our small house without putting any weight on my ankle?

Three means of mobility:

1) wheel chair. Problem: the wheel chair wouldnt go into the bathroom

2) Knee scooter: this is a relatively new invention that is worth it's weight in gold. It is like a kid's scooter except that it has a padded seat where you can rest your knee and scoot around on the good leg. It does fit in the bathroom. With the help of a toilet that is designed for people with disabilities (higher than a regular toilet) and hand rails on the toilet.(Frank, my husband set this up while I was in Northern California) I was able to transfer to the toilet. Problem: if I am in the kitchen and make something to eat on the scooter, I cant carry the food to the table because I have to have both hands on the scooter to steer. Therefore I had to use the wheelchair in the kitchen.

3)walker.. this was used later in my rehabilitation when I was able to put a little weight on my ankle.

The next post will tell how I decided to lose weight.

Broken Ankle and 40 lbs overweight

2009-07-20T07:45:00.000-07:00

How would these two things be related? Here is the brief version of my story:

Friday, March 27, 2009 was a life changing day for me. I was in Northern California for a seminar on how the brain works, given by my brother, Steve Campbell. The seminar was called, 'Making your mind magnificent' based on his book of the same name. More about that later.

On the last day of the seminar I was walking into the room where the seminar was being given. It had three steps down into the room. I lost my focus for just a second or two and stepped into the room and unexpectedly fell down the three stairs. I landed full strength on my foot. The force was so great that my foot was displaced from my ankle and turned at a 90 degree angle.

I was taken to the hospital where I stayed for four days. I had surgery on my ankle and was placed in a 'boot'. My ankle was reconstructed using three plates and about 20 screws. The x-ray looked like an erector set. (For those of you who dont remember erector sets, it is a toy with metal parts that are used to 'erect' toy sky scrapers.) In many cases now days the boot is used instead of a cast. It is a wonderful alternative. Being an RN I have cared for people in casts. The cast can be extremely irritating because the skin inside it drys and flakes and itches with no real way to scratch.

The boot can be opened and the dressing carefully changed.

I stayed in N. California for 5 more days after getting out of the hospital. My brother Scott and his wife, Beth took care of me. Scott took time off work and lovingly took care of my every need. I didnt have the strength to stand on my good leg. So Scott put his arms around me and lifted me whenever I had to go to the bathroom or transfer from one place to the other. It's a good thing that Scott is a big guy, because I was at least 40 lbs overweight!

More on my recovery and my decision to overhaul my body in every way on the next post.